After high school, friendships can become a strange thing. You don’t have overarching laws telling you to sit with the same group of people and have shared learning and social experiences so how do you manage them on your own? Essentially showing someone love and kindness can go a long way, the actions may look different depending on the circumstance however one can feel when someone is being loving and thoughtful.
How to find friends:
- Shared Location – do you purposely choose to go to a course, club, church, or job well I can guarantee you there’s someone else there looking for connection it’s a matter of initiating and starting that first conversation by saying hello.
- Shared Interest – now that you started a conversation find out if they are willing to spend time with you outside of a shared space; maybe check out a new movie, or entertainment center, or hang out at a party or lounge. People want to explore or experience new things but sometimes need others to encourage them to go.
- Express Friendship – believe it or not people appreciate the direct approach, so why not ask to be friends. Something along those lines of “I’m looking to find people to do things with, can we be friends?” or “want to hang out with me, looking for someone to do things with.” There is absolutely nothing wrong with vocalizing your needs and reaching out for help. For those who respond positive they tend to make asking worth it.
How to maintain friends:
This one is tricky because communication has already been established however life can sometimes bring us farther or closer depending on what’s going on. A couple of ideas of maintain friends are,
- Call/Keep In Touch – Reach out quarterly or monthly to catch them up with your life and to find out what’s going on with them. friendships form when people feel like they are apart of your life by knowing the updated information. If distance or time is a factor then send a postcard or letter, surprise them with an online delivery or gift you’ll be surprised how people love knowing that someone was thinking about them no matter what’s going on.
- Be Present/Engage – if you are hanging out make sure you are engaged with the moment, not checking your phone or distracted by other things. Listen intently and make others feel like you want to have them be there with you at the time, and not a person whose there as an afterthought.
- Celebrate With Them – is it their birthday, major holidays or special milestone in their life; be willingly to celebrate large or small by acknowledging or encouraging them with what’s going on. Relationships are built on connects and connections happen through intention arrangements. If someone passed away ask how you can support them or if family has a major milestone show them you care by gifting the family with something as well.
In conclusion
Making and maintianing a friend comes down to showing someone how you care for them to be apart of your life. Starting the conversation and creating connections creates friendships. Maintain friendships requires effort of thoughtfulness and communication. Friendships can help life become richer if it is a mutually beneficial relationships.
Comment below:
What are some challenges people deal with to making or keeping a friend?